Owning your Power

Owning Your PowerOwning your personal power is one of the greatest tools for getting UNStuck in most every area of your life – your relationships, your career, your love life…

Think about it.

Consider people you know who carry a strong, healthy sense of personal power. How do they carry themselves? How does it feel to be in their presence?

They are self-aware, have strong healthy boundaries, are willing to make decisions, are not afraid to make mistakes or receive feedback, have a healthy sense of confidence in themselves, and they do not feel a need to trample others to feel powerful. When you are around people who own their personal power, you feel a sense of safety and confidence about them. They are attractive to others and people like to be around them.

Now consider people you know who do not own their personal power. How do they carry themselves?  How does it feel to be in their presence?

Those who tend to leak their power have weak boundaries in one or more areas of their life, they to waffle about decisions, they second guess themselves, they seek feedback for the purpose of boosting themselves rather than gaining genuine feedback. They act small and give their power away to other people and situations. They may also attempt to undermine others as a means of gaining a false sense of power. When you are around someone who does not own their power, you may feel distrustful and lack confidence in them. You may feel unsafe around them. It can be frustrating to interact with them.

Many of us fall somewhere in the middle – we have areas where we feel strong and confident in our power, and other areas that we are more prone to being leaky.

So what about you?

Are you fully owning your power in every area of your life? Or are there some areas or situations where you leak your power?

Here are a few indicators that you are leaking your power:

  • You feel small in certain situations or around certain people
  • You give up your voice and fail to speak up to advocate for your needs or concerns
  • You feel uncertain or lack confidence
  • You defer decisions to another without giving voice to your need, concerns or desires
  • You feel defensive when receiving constructive feedback
  • You struggle to say NO
  • You mismanage personal finances
  • You have weak personal boundaries in one or more of your relationships

Power leakage creates a number of challenges that keep us from moving forward successfully. If you are seeing areas in your life where you are leaking your power, it’s time to make some changes. The cause of power leakage varies significantly for each of us and some pieces may be easier to reclaim than others, but trust me, it is well worth the time, energy and commitment to do it.  Once you are aware of where you leak your power, you know where to begin your journey to reclaiming it.


Take note of one area in your life where you are leaking your power. Visualize a situation that is fresh in your memory or easy to recall.

Notice how it felt when you were in that situation where your power became leaky. Notice physical sensations, likely in your belly and chest. Notice emotions or thoughts that arise. Allow yourself to feel the loss of power that you experienced.  What was the fear?  What were you wanting to give voice to that you held back? What boundary was being violated?

Place your hands on your belly, just below the naval and affirm: “I reclaim my power in this (situation/relationship/experience). I am strong within myself and I hold my power.”

Then set a clear boundary for yourself and the situation i.e. “I will not allow (xx) to speak to me in a demeaning manner.” Or “I will say NO to (xx) when I do not want to do (xx).” Or “I will not allow this (xx situation) to happen again.”

Honor that boundary.


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1 Comment
  • Virginia Reeves
    Posted at 04:33h, 11 March Reply

    Remy – very good descriptions about leaking power and how to develop better boundaries and responses to situations and people. I have to admit to a few of them. I am pushing through one area of lack of confidence and just going for it. If it works, yay ! If not, I held myself accountable and did it.

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